it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
