dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
