Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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