they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
