Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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