you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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