remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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