I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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