he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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