What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize