Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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