Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
did i just pee glitter
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize