goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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