forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
