At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
