oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
