dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
