Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So here I am, sexting at work.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
