Just cropdusted the office
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
