she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
