Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
