Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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