ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
