I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
