i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
