member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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