if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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