I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
