I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
