i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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