She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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