Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
