I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
