this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
