so let's talk penis.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
