Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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