I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
