I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
