weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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