im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
