I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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