eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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