My first STD was from a foam party
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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