PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
