we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Come on in and take your pants off
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
