Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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