On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
