We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
