mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
