people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
