If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
