it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize