I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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