U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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