I faked an abortion last night.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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