Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize