The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
