if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
