I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
