We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
