She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
