shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
